“What we judge in another is a disowned part of ourselves.”
- Debbie Ford
Once upon a time I used to get really depressed around people whom I didn’t feel were living up to their “full potential”. I referred to these people as “sleepwalkers”, due to their inability to wake up and smell the law of attraction.
I assumed that my depression was a direct result of the other person’s choices, and so I did everything I could to inspire them to change. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that my negative feelings had nothing to do with their decisions, and everything to do with my judgment of them.
Take a moment and notice that when you can’t accept people as they are in the moment, you feel irritated. This irritation is a signal from your intuition, letting you know that you are resisting the conditions of the present moment and pushing against WHAT IS. When you refuse to accept people as they are, you create a disturbance in the Force!
One of the hardest spiritual truths to accept is that everyone is as they should be. If you think otherwise, you are rejecting the inherent wisdom of the Universe, the same wisdom that is shining through the eyes of the person you want to change.
When you can’t accept a person as they are, it’s usually because they are reflecting a quality you haven’t yet accepted in yourself – otherwise known as the Shadow Effect. But if you are conscious enough, you can use the interaction as a mirror into your own psyche.
Are you aware of the qualities within yourself you have rejected? Examine the characteristics of the most difficult people in your life and see if they’re reflecting these qualities back to you.
As for me, I find the “unconsciousness” in myself totally revolting. I hate it when I think, speak, or act unconsciously. The “sleepwalkers” are just reminding me to have more love and compassion when the unconscious part of my personality shows up.
When we take the time to love and accept even our most unwanted qualities fully, we can do the same with other people. When we love people unconditionally we have no need to change them, and our resistance to the present moment dissolves.
Accepting people as they are doesn’t mean we will stop judging altogether. Our judgments do serve a purpose because they help us sort through the contrast of this world and decide what we want out of life. But just because someone decides to be a vegan, intuitive, tea-lovin’ yogi doesn’t mean everyone else in the world should be.