“You create the relationships you want by following the
Universal laws of relationship: the outer mirrors the inner.
– Sanaya Roman
As Valentine’s Day approaches, I can’t help but feel drawn to write about love and intimate relationships. It seems like every other reading I give is focused on this subject. “When am I going to meet my soul mate?” and “How can I find true love?” are common questions.
I’m not an expert on love, but I do know this: everything you are experiencing in your relationship (or lack of) mirrors something that is occurring within yourself. Therefore the relationship you think you want will not be found through an external search, but rather through an inner excavation of all limiting beliefs, suppressed emotion and disharmonious energy that is blocking you from BEING the love that you are.
This inner excavation can be messy at first, which is why we run like mad away from it. We’d rather eat, drink, shop, binge watch Netflix or check our phone a million times a day than face the shame, fear and unworthiness that lurks deep within our psyche. But by making this connection and doing the inner work to release these limiting energies, we liberate ourselves. We break free from the endless search for love externally and realize that WE are the ones we’ve been looking for. It’s only when I find true love within myself that I can receive it from another. I am the love of my life. I am my soul mate!
This is a lesson I am constantly learning. Last week I was trying desperately to find time to finish my monthly newsletter and shaming myself for not being able to complete it. I overlooked the fact that getting it done might have been an unrealistic goal, given the fact that I was running three businesses, speaking and giving a mediumship demonstration at my church and taking care of my 4-year-old.
The miracle happened when I suddenly observed the old pattern. It was like I stepped out of myself for a moment and saw myself differently.
I sat quietly with a bottle of bergamot essential oil, the oil of self-acceptance. I inhaled the oil and placed one hand on my heart to anchor myself in the present moment. I located the energy of shame in my body (in this case, my throat) and focused all of my attention on it. I began to see and sense that shame as a 5-year-old girl, just wanting to be seen, loved and acknowledged. I began to talk to her:
“You’re doing the very best you can.”
“This newsletter will come out at the perfect time.”
“Nothing serious is happening here. All is well.”
I continued to breathe in the oil deeply. Within a few minutes the lump in my throat disappeared and the critical inner commentary was replaced with a serene silence.
By acknowledging and feeling our emotions, we bring love and acceptance to them. This is how we transmute them into higher frequencies. This is how we heal. This is how we attune ourselves to true love.
When you are vibrating at the frequency of true love, you cannot help but magnetize the same energy into your life from all directions. It may not arrive in the package that your ego expects or desires, but it will match exactly what you are emitting.
So my challenge for you this Valentine’s Day (and every day!) is to SEE yourself, all parts of yourself, with eyes of love. Love yourself enough to allow and experience emotions that are seeking release. Despite any perceived imperfections, you are perfect just as you are. There is nothing you need to change about yourself.
Through this realization you will find true love. And in time the world will mirror it back to you.