Today is New Year’s Eve and I have spent the last two days in total hermit mode – pondering, meditating & reflecting.
In this space of quiet contemplation, I’m thinking about goals, desires, and resolutions. More importantly, I’m thinking about WHY we have certain goals, desires and resolutions. What is it that we are really trying to achieve when we set a goal???
In his bestselling book Seat of the Soul, author Gary Zukav emphasizes the need to always understand our true intention, which is the underlying energy or quality of consciousness that we bring to an action.
With the concept of intention in mind, I realized that there are two types of goals:
- A goal
that emerges from a true calling or passion
- A goal that emerges from an unhealed wound or unmet need
A goal that emerges from a true calling or passion is a goal with soul. It’s a deep longing to connect with the most authentic part of yourself and then express that energy out into the world. It’s a call to share your gifts and talents in a way that helps others.
In contrast, a goal that emerges from an unhealed part of you is a goal based in ego. This type of goal stems from trying to fill a void or run from an uncomfortable emotion from childhood that has never been resolved. An example of this would be someone who is constantly overachieving to escape feelings of unworthiness. The underlying intention is a need to achieve big goals in order to prove his or her worth so that they never have to experience their unhealed shame.
The problem with ego goals is that even when they are achieved, they never soothe the void they were created to fill. Time after time in my intuitive readings, I have witnessed clients who have achieved all of the goals, received all of the desires and have “all of the things”… and yet they are still deeply unhappy. I help them realize that what they are truly longing for is a connection with who they truly are.
But in order for this holy connection to take place, we have to clear away everything that stands in our way – the limiting beliefs, the old thought patterns, the negative inner commentary and the emotional baggage from our past. These are the “little lies” that live in our bodies; they are the old stories and outdated energies that limit or block the soul’s fullest expression.
For me, this clearing process involves a healing modality called Somatic Experiencing as well time I set aside to simply be with myself – to be the space for all of the emotions as they surface rather than run away or distract myself from them; to delicately feel each feeling in my body and be a quiet space of unconditional love, presence and acceptance as it is all happening.
What I’ve found is that as I heal and clear these old energies, my soul-goals naturally rise to the surface and start taking shape all on their own. I become more in touch with my intuition and the flow of life as it seeks to move through me. My life becomes less about setting goals and more about following the excitement of an idea that arises out a genuine soul connection.
So as we step into a new year and a new decade, I encourage you to take some time to go deep within and explore the intentions under your goals or New Year’s resolutions. Become clear on why you’re chasing what you’re chasing. Make a commitment to a space of love for any part of you that’s in pain, and then watch as your soul-goals rise to the surface.
If you need help with this process, I’m here to support you.
Many blessings and Happy New Year!