“There is no such thing as failure.
There are only results.”
~ Anthony Robbins
Last year, 40% of US marriages ended in divorce. Our culture labels these relationships as failures, but is there really such a thing as a “failed relationship”? Or is this just another label we use to disempower ourselves with guilt, regret, and resentment?
If you look back upon your life you’ll notice that your external reality has always been in a constant state of flux. Everything has continually changed form in order to provide you with new opportunities to experience life, express yourself, and evolve into a more conscious human being. Friends and teachers have come and gone. Houses bought and sold. Jobs and careers embraced and released. And it all happened in perfect timing, whether or not you were aware of the fundamental order that governs the Universe.
Nature continually replaces the old with the new. This time next year, 98% of the atoms in your body will have replaced themselves with new ones. So if everything else in existence is continually striving to be better, healthier, and more harmonious, why do we beat ourselves up for “failing” in a relationship if it no longer works for us? What if our culture was more accepting of the transience of Life, including the transience of relationships?
The New Paradigm of Relationships
The ever-increasing divorce rate is not a sign of failure; it is a sign of change. It’s a sign that the nature of human relationships is in the process of evolving. Although love will always be the catalyst that draws two people together, there are always secondary reasons why people choose to make a long term commitment to each other. In the old paradigm, couples were united in marriage for the purpose of emotional and physical security. In the new paradigm, couples will unite for the primary purpose of conscious personal growth.
Since the soul favors experience and evolution over security, relationships of the future will most likely have shorter life spans and marriage will become less popular. It will be understood and accepted that remaining in the same relationship for 50 years does not always serve the soul’s highest evolutionary path.
Another worn out concept currently dissolving within the collective consciousness is the notion that we need an “other half” to complete us. As the concept of oneness and unity emerges on the planet, we will no longer need to seek our sense of wholeness in a mate. Our recognition of the underlying connection we have with ALL beings will give us the sense of wholeness we’ve traditionally sought out in a marriage.
All relationships in the new paradigm will be viewed as mirrors of our own consciousness. We’ll look at what is being reflected in our partner with the intention of healing and celebrating the same qualities within our own souls. When our lessons have been consciously embodied in one relationship, we’ll be free to move forward into the next experience. It won’t matter how long a relationship lasts as long as we feel we have consciously embraced the opportunities for growth and development that were provided by our partner.
There are No Failures
If you ever felt that you have “failed” at a relationship, stop and look at the situation from the perspective of personal growth. What did you learn from your relationship? What did you experience? What did you express? How did you evolve? Since the purpose of your relationship was evolution, consider what qualities might have been seeking to emerge that could not have been developed otherwise. Some of these qualities might include:
- Unconditional Love
- Self Reliance
- Self Love
In looking at your life experience from this higher perspective, you’ll discover a golden nugget in even the most difficult situations. If you emerged on the other side of any relationship as a more conscious, more loving, more evolved human being, regard the entire experience as a triumphant success. In the grand scheme of things there is no such thing as failure, only opportunities to learn and grow. It’s time to release the guilt and resentment and accept deeply that there is no such thing as a failed relationship.